confidently out
I’m constantly amazed that people find it amazing that I am … *gasp*… gay!
Yes, there are gay people in Malaysia! Yes, shock! horrors! There are more than one gay person in this country. In fact there are even lesbians (if you don’t consider the word “gay” to include women), bisexuals, transsexuals and transgendered individuals in Malaysia. And they walk, talk, eat, sleep and work among you…!!! Quick! Call the cops! Lest you be infected with some strange unknown disease or kidnapped to some planet far, far away in a another galaxy where people are not “normal”, where they only have one eye and listen to nothing but Abba’s “Dancing Queen” or the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” through their one exceedingly large flappy ear.
The fact is, not all gay men fit the perceived stereotypes. Not all gay men:
- are transsexuals or transgendered individuals;
- talk in affected voices with exagerrated hand gestures;
- are designers, interior decorators, hair stylists, actors, or any of the arty-farty types;
- have a great sense of fashion or aesthetic taste;
- know the lyrics to all musicals or the entire discography of Barbra Streisand or Madonna;
- leave school after Form Five and work the streets as second class prostitutes (not that there’s anything wrong with that);
- “take it up” the ass;
- like to fuck, some only like being fucked… some like both;
- discover their homosexuality after 20 years of marriage and two children and become… o, say… a celebrity chef;
- wear enough make up and foundation to fill the largest crater on the moon and host reality shows on TV;
- hang around public toilets waiting for the next dick to suck;
- think about sex everyday, every hour of the day, though most would protest otherwise;
- are lelaki lembut;
- hide in the closet;
- are evasive about their sexuality;
- proclaim their sexuality to all and sundry;
- build their identity around their sexuality.
No. While some gay men do fit the stereotypes, not all do. We are as varied as the straight population. In fact, some gay men look so “normal”, so unobtrusive that you wouldn’t be able to identify them as homosexual even if they stood in front of you - unless of course, they’re giving you a blow job. Truth be told, some gay men are even more “straight” than straight men, particularly in Malaysia where some straight men do leave a lot to be desired…!
More importantly, we are not aliens. Our sexual orientation aside, we are not all that different from you “normal” lot. We all want the same things: love, relationships, happiness, job satisfaction, material comfort, friends, achieving our dreams… we are as human as you, with all the same hopes, aspirations and faillibilities.
With higher than average income levels, and higher marginal propensities to consume, we contribute equally, if not more, to the economy. So much so, that even supposedly conservative Singapore has begun to recognise, if nothing else, our economic value to society (see this report), following in the steps of many other developed countries that have recognised our contributions economically, socially and politically.
So I am well educated. I have a brain and I know how to think. I like my sentences long and my English perfect. I have aspirations and career goals beyond the desire for fame and glamour. I don’t necessarily flaunt my wit and charm, and I can turn on the straight-laced look at will. But is it so strange that I can’t imagine ever having sex with women?
Posted on July 30th, 2004 by jl
Filed under: Life's Gay
“Truth be told, some gay men are even more “straight” than straight men, particularly in Malaysia where some straight men do leave a lot to be desired…!”
So (tragically) true… I’ve had to be the bearer of bad news to many women smitten by a particularly ’straight’ gay friend…
Nah…it’s not strange at all, Jikon. ^_^
Couldn’t have put it better myself, my friend. I’m so proud of u *sniff*
Oh sod em all, Jikon.
So what if you can’t imagine having sex with women? Perhaps in our oh-so-repressed society the notion that someone can actually be happy whilst also being gay is somewhat of a quizzer.
I think you’re doing rather well (well better than I am at least, and I’m straight) so whatever it is, keep it up, and I do mean the act, not any other bodily appendages.
Najah - sad isn’t it? We have “straight” gay men confusing (straight) women and “gay” straight men confusing gay men…. *sigh*
MC - thank you! thank you! sob! sob! thank you! where’s my bag of tissue… thank you! aku sungguh terharu… thank you!
Ash - ooohh… I’ll keep it up for you. I will. In fact, I’ll keep you up too if you want me to…! (can’t help myself, but you opened the door!)
woohooo jikon! another non depressing post! You’re on a roll!!!! And remember, I may seem gay but I AM NOT!
gay or not…. it is the the person that counts. you are YOU and let no one change that. besides - who gives a f***? your friends love you anyway, and that would include moi!!
Heyyyy….I like Dancing Queen!
Heh heh…and God forbid if I ever think of you as a bimbo, Jikon!
Good God…it’s just a sexual orientation. Why does it give the heebie jeebies to people everytime to know that there are gay people out there.
So you tend to be more sensitive. So you tend to like other men. So you may not grunt half-naked in a forest because you killed wild boar while you’re talking about seducing women and sports over beer. Who says that’s a bad thing?
I don’t mind gay men. I don’t mind lesbian women. I have friends on both sides. I don’t even mind when someone for some reason mistakes me for being gay.
Keep being proud of who you are Jikon. No one can take that away from you. We’re all behind you all the way (somehow that sounded so wrong).
Jikon: You rose to the occasion, I see. Very good. Very bloody good, LoL.
Have a good weekend!
Rizal: don’t flatter yourself!
Izree: mwah! mwah!
Edrei: you mean you’re not gay!?!? *shocked*
Sorry mate…I’m as straight as they come…:)
In a manner of speaking of course…:)
“As straight as they come”
THAT was a double entendre if I ever saw one, though I wonder, does anyone come bengkok?
some are bengkok even before they come… and i’ve seen some pretty bad examples… *shivers*…
the possibilities of this conversation! (shudder)
I think that in this regard life is wonderful and I am fortunate to be gay because it helps me appreciate and not miss so many of these nuances and the rich diversity of the world.
Yes, this is Mike talking, but maybe it’s been a tough week?!
It never ceases to amaze me Jikon either (like what DO you have to do?!) and I think it’s marvellous.
Oh well, back to the grind (you’re already having your weekend… hope it turns out to be a nice one)
Mike x
you have earned my respect.
why ?
1. unlike other m’sian gay bloggers i come across, you don’t harp or moan on your sexuality on every single entry.
2. you don’t have that “me against the world” thingy attitude, seeking acknowlegement and recognition because of your sexual preference.
3. you don’t expect people to treat you differently once they know you are gay.
to sum the 3 points up, imoho, in the situation you are in, it reflects that you are in control, strong and confident.
keep it up, jikon.
Potatoe:
QUOTE
you don’t have that “me against the world” thingy attitude, seeking acknowlegement and recognition because of your sexual preference.
UNQUOTE
you obviously haven’t read my posts months earlier… i may not moan because of my sexual preferences, but i sure do moan…
err.. don’t think that came out right in light of the topic of this post…
gay or no gay makes no difference. i like you for your writings, jikon, the personality you project. one’s sexual orientation is of no importance.
i remember once a friend told me that she used to like elton john’s singing very much but when she found out that elton john is gay, she stop liking his songs. can you believe that? i told her to get a life!
lucia: too right girl!
COMMERCIAL BREAK:
To all homophobic music-lovers. If you can no longer stand listening to your Elton John, George Michael, KD Lang or Erasure CDs, pls send them my way.
Jikon: Moan, eh? Maybe you can post an mp3 file of that somewhere?
>)
Oh but you all! Jikon is a himbo
But we love him dearly anyways! Take him shopping, something interesting is always bound to happen!
Just a story about how a gay guy made a straight guy’s day - actually night
The story occurs in Houston, US City with the 4th largest gay population in the US (sorta makes sense ‘cos Houston was then the 4th largest US city - by population). Anyway, the specific nightclub was Rich’s, a gay nightclub which had straight nights on Thu.
I had just received my divorce notice from my wife, who had left me for a British chap she’d met in Switzerland. Since I really loved her … sniff .. sniff .. I was quite depressed, and decided to go to Rich’s to listen to music, and watch its slightly risque music videos. While upstairs watching folks dance downstairs, a cute blonde chick came up to me, and started talking with me - a Chinese bespectacled guy wearing shorts.
Hmmm … methinks to meself … this could get interesting … Maybe I’ll get lucky on this most unfortunate night of my life … A few minutes of chit-chatting … and hope building up in me …
She asks me … am I gay? No … I said, somewhat surprised at her question. She said, pity, my gay friend over there thinks you’re cute, and have nice legs (or something of the sort). I burst out laughing, and eventually calmed down enough to tell her that I’d just got divorced, and now realized that the other half of the world’s population is now open/available to me (assuming that I’m interested).
My depression was lifted, and the future looked brighter immediately. All the best, everyone
A gay club with a straight night… I’ve never heard that before! But it must make for a very interesting crowd… Houston, did you say it was?
Yup … it’s definitely Houston. And it has a great gay/lesbian parade. You’ll get to see all the macho men parading their gayness down Montrose Avenue - think of the music group YMCA - and you’ll sorta get the picture
Post-divorce, I was in San Francisco, and ended up going to a dance club by myself, and danced by myself for almost 4 hours on an elevated platform. Sorta different … I guess .. but I enjoyed being byself, in an anonymous way.
All the best!
By the way, if Malaysia does screen “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, it’s definitely worth watching. http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/
I know that it perpetuates some gay stereotypes, but these guys are obviously very sincere in their attempts to help straight guys improve their lifestyles and self-images.
All the best
ooooo… Mark…. careful you’re not turning over to the “dark side” there…!! No, we don’t get Queer Eye yet, but there’s always Kazaa and BitTorrent!
jikon: Queer Eye airs on Saturday on 8TV. Check your TV schedules.
Rajan: thanks. i don’t get terrestrial at home! so unless it’s on Astro, i wouldn’t know about it…! i know, it’s shocking…
i respect your gut for spitting out what and who you are. many straight men don’t. i am not implying that gays mean feminine though. despite my rational acceptance on the fact that gay is natural occurence, just like pregnancy and mutation of genes, personally, i just can’t accept it. probably it’s as natural as you having problem imagining having sex with woman. i can’t imagine seeing another guy with another guy. anyway, no offence here. i guess the problem with me is my relatively few encounters with gay. hence, grew the typical phobia of gay. maybe gay should be more comfortable with themselves, and let ppl like me to know, “well, gays are just like normal ppl.” coz from what i can see and read, basically gays=unhealthy. go jikon..go and educate ppl like me so that we can be more tolerant with gay.
jikon, wonder if you’ve seen Queer as Folk. the canadian version. think its very realistic, in its depiction of issues faced by gay men.
i’ve only seen the UK (original) version of Queer As Folk - all one and quarter season of it. i haven’t seen the other “versions” of it yet. i hear the US one is doing quite well… i’m sure it’ll turn up on DVD soon!
indeed, the US/Canadian one is doing very well. couple of seasons in, already. saw several episodes recently on a trip to australia - my friends have the whole DVD collection thus far (ordered in from the states)! t’was part of the teaching plan they had for me as an intro to the daytime dance party culture in melbourne. how does one import the DVDs in without the entire customs department launching an “ops” at my mailbox!?
import?!?! why bother importing when a trip to your local DVD dealer will probably take care of it. probably not now, but give it a few weeks/months and i’m sure it’ll be in the market. they’ve got just about everything, including classical music concerts, why not this?!
i hv gay frens. i don’t judge them by their sexual preference. they r my friends, and i am a friend to them. we talk, share jokes, laff. so wat if u’r gay? gays hv great taste u know. and some gays r so darn nice to talk to
you go, boy! if you didn’t mention it, i wouldnt had known that you’re gay. goes to show that we’re all on equal footing, you’re human and so am i.
i cant get those ppl who does gay bashing, i mean, get a life! btw, just wondering, the gay pride colour is purple or rainbow? there’s a rainbow as ur layout, is it for that purpose?
Hmmm… queer as folk (US)is one of my fave shows, so far i’ve downloaded up to season 3 (yes, computer getting real slooooowww), but it’s nice. deals with some issues although i feel that brian’s character is rather…unreal? QEFTSG is nice too… the fashion guy is damn funny. actually all of them are
ive always had a political flair, so i wrote these books to express myself. it’s the best way to rule the american government– especially the first book. i had a traumatic brain injury & 6 months a coma my Senior year in high school. 1993. thats when i started these. they didnt have an editor. i wanted nobody to see my method till eevrybody could see it. it was odd that after i finished these books i learned my great-grandfather was a commissioner 16 years.
These books are by Michael House WBHS class of 93, published by Authorhouse.
To See a Brother’s Blood
a crime ring cashes in on a nerd’s smarts
Teamwork
3 teen boys become bounty hunters after they trap a suspect murderer
Sogr
i stay 3 decades in another dimension before returning to the moment i left