10 Rules for Gay Boys
This is a pseudo-adaptation of the “Sunscreen” song for gay men:
1. Always wear clean, sexy underwear. You never know when they have to be on show - even at the doctor’s.
2. Always carry a condom. And lubricant. As they say in the scouts movement, ?Be Prepared!”
3. Flirt with every man. They are all potential victim-wannabes. Especially the married ones.
4. Always remember everyone who came before you. That’s why you should always practise safe sex.
5. Any kind of sex is OK as long as its consensual.
6. Try every position once: top, bottom and in-between.
7. It’s always polite to say “sorry you’re not my type”. It’s never polite to ignore your admirers completely.
8. Masturbate. When you run out of condoms, that’s the safest way to get off.
9. Looks fade. Love someone not for what they look like, but for who and what they are.
10. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll start to sag at 40, maybe you’ll become a dirty old man on your 75th birthday… But always remember: you’re as good as the straight boy standing next to you.
A propos the subject matter, this is a rather interesting article about what it is that gay men and lesbian women do…
Posted on October 15th, 2004 by jl
Filed under: Life's Gay
May I ask a question?
Would a gay guy be terribly offended if a man.. who is completely heterosexual but metrosexual, says (not even a no, thank you) “I AM NOT GAY”?
My husband is always attracting gay guys and feels quite humiliated because he has to put up with the “i like u v much” stares and lame pick up lines.
Dude, you never flirt with me T_T
Am I notch precchy forch chew?
a metrosexual’s wife: i don’t suppose most people would be offended if you turned them now nicely and politely. just say something to the effect of, “i’m sorry, but i think you’ve made a mistake. i’m not gay.”
that said, i don’t see why he should feel humiliated. if anything, he should just take things in his stride and consider them compliments.
T-Boy: you plenty precchy, but when i last flirted with you, i got hit on my head!
On rule #2. I find that carrying around a lubricant in Malaysia causes said lubricant to leak out and get onto everything. Messy and inconvenient.
Any tips on carrying lubricant without messes?
What would be an acceptable reaction if an insensitive lout crack tasteless gay jokes in the presence of gay friends?
a metrosexual’s wife - David Beckham’s banked his entire off-pitch career on appealing to us pinkpounders. Tell your hubby to enjoy it and be thankful that he’s cute enough to register on our gaydar. Most gay guys I know would kill for a spot more attention. It’s a cruel world we live in.
Hani: Lose the ketchup sachets and invest in a nice travel-size bottle of lube. Goes nicely with the poppers too.
A-ha, at last, something (”something for the weekend?…) I can comment on… (in that vein I can’t help but remark that I notice Jay’s “in there” already also :-p …and right-on as usual, keep it up Jay… please)
Re point 10: why wait til you’re 75? That’s my motto anyway!… also, need to add “at least as” somewhere in there… or am I biased?
Re point 6: made me smile, a smouldering smile…
Re point 3: that’s very you, Jikon!
OK, back to work…
Mike x
Hani: maybe wrap the tube-o-lube in a ziplock bag before you dump it into your bag?
mdmafia: you know… these “sensitive” jokes are tricky. if it’s not some gay man getting all riled up, it’s a woman, or an ethnic person of somesort, or another minority. i think everyone has different thresholds and i’m actually very tolerant of these “jokes”. if i think it’s tasteless, i normally just beam a sarcastic grin but keep my mouth shut. if they’re not “educated” by now, they’ll never be…
I hope your post does not imply you condone such behaviour!
> 5. Any kind of sex is OK as long as its consensual.
Tsk, tsk… YOU wouldn’t be advocating… say, adultery or… bestiality (assuming the dog/cow/pig/whatever consents) would you?
And this sort of ‘consensual’ thing…
You would NOT condone…
NAMBLA
Would you?
rob: by definition, bestiality would not be consensual.
similarly, where persons of non-legal age are concerned, i would defer to the argument that they do not as yet have the capacity or capability to make informed choices.
but that said, where adultery and other such similar phenomenon are concerned, i wouldn’t want to impose my own flawed moral values on others.
i believe in the idea of karma. we all will have to face the consequences of our conscious actions.
Thanks for posting this. I’m currently reading Eve Sedgwick’s ‘Tendencies’ and waiting for ‘Epistemology of the Closet’. Have you read her?
petra: no, i haven’t read her. is she any good?
jikon wrote:
>similarly, where persons of non-legal age are concerned,
>i would defer to the argument that they do not
>as yet have the capacity or capability to make
>informed choices
rob knows lots of legal aged ‘adults’ who are not capable of making informed choices…
informed consent is a very nebulous thing.
anyway, that’s rob just being argumentative. take no notice of him.
what IS a metrosexual?
what IS a metrosexual?
Sedgwick has the reputation of having revolutionised queer studies. She’s lovely - very into NOT categorising; ie gay or straight does not automatically mean certain sexual positions, certain macho or effeminate behaviour, etc etc.
Bloody hell, I should be studying for exams.