the pain in song
i miss him
his little-boy smile is branded in my mind’s eye
the reassuring warmth of his body
our quiet comfortable company
his presence still resonates deep within
…when the evenings stretch silently into the night…
At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away
i can still smell his scent
the one i smell whenever we embrace
and my face is next to his
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
blue pills. happy pills.
blue pills. happy pills.
tick tock tick tock
I’m not crazy
I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
i try not to think about him
…his name escapes from my lips…
i remember how my body moulds into his
He was everything, everything
that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
i thought that love would last forever.
i thought that love would be enough.
i was wrong.
Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
it hurts
and i can’t let go
i don’t know how
i never knew it was possible to love someone so much
would i ever forget?
feeling like I’m heading for a breakdown
i’m scared
someone please hug me
and never let me go
Posted on October 29th, 2004 by jl
Filed under: Notable: Personal
*huuuuuugggssssss*
hey..haven’t visited your blog for the longest time…sorry to hear about this..hugss
It is about time to strive for Love & Compassion. So far you experienced a love that is a great inciter to action and utilizes dynamos of energy. A love expressed in a lot of fancy words in a relationship.
When you have the LOVE and COMPASSION for others, there’s a ‘deepness’ that cannot be expressed toward another individual.
This is achieved by just BEING. The minute you try and put a word on it you’ve lost it, because as you become more YOU, you will ‘express’ it.
Then you don’t have to go around and huggie kissie and I love you, I love you, because your whole ‘being’ exhibits that.
*huggies*
mwt: you most confucious..you must be becoming buddhist monk…
Jikon: don’t cry cry so much la. Or else, nanti your eye bengkak and then your new prospective “love in your life” tengok you and pengsan pulak! If you feeling very lonesome or sad, then you must call your friend friend la…so, that both of you can cry cry together gether, and make all four eyes bengkak (and don’t go out la…)
i hope that cheered u up for 1.43 seconds.
Hi Jikon,
I am a closet reader of your blog, sort of low profile etc, but do visit from time to time.
Hmm this love thing is complicated isn’t it? Sometimes perhaps we fell it is all we want or do we want it and crave for it so much because we don’t have it? Time will heal, but don’t know, the longing and the memories will always linger. Take care man!
to everyone: thank you for commenting and for continuing to care/read. it’s been a difficult few days. i don’t know when i’ll come out of it. but yes, i’ll get there one day.
*hugs* back
just checkin~…
seems like u still havent come out of it…
take care`