only naughty boys get fucked. are you a naughty boy?

Why is it that men feel compelled to resort to fantasies or play-act? Why can’t sex just be natural?

you like doing that, don’t you?
oh yeah… oh fuck…
you do it really well, matey

Why do some men have to provide a running commentary - and not a really good one at that?

careful there… oh… oh shit!
what a surprise!
oooohhh… oh….

And why is it that men have to “hit and run”? Especially after an “accident”?

i have to go. i’m sure i’ll see you again.
this is just between us, you are discreet, right?

The problem with bisexual men is that they are not really bisexual. They are either straight men looking for a tight hole and a good blow-job; or they are gay men refusing to recognise that they are living in a closet.

Posted on February 28th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 2 Comments »

(click to see enlarged versions of all pictures)

I still can’t get over the idea of being a student at the PhD level.

Not only do I get special treatment at enrollment - I didn’t have to join the long queues with the hoi-polloi’s but was enrolled in a private office on a one-to-one basis - but I also get office space!!! This is so unreal. OK, I might have to share it with one other person eventually, but I wouldn’t have been given any office space if I had gone here instead… And then there’s the free printing, free photocopying, higher library loan entitlements, no coursework, no real timetables - I love being a PhD student! Well… at least until real work sets in and the crunch time comes along!

The ANU is fab. I’ve never been in a university with a proper campus before so this experience is quite novel. As with all else in Australia, there’s so much space everywhere. All the buildings are low-lying and are all partially overshadowed by trees. Walking through the campus is a sensory experience - on a warm day, you can smell “wood” (probably coming from the wood chips in the planted area or the mini-”bush” that we have). I haven’t yet walked all over the campus as it’s so big (145 hectares!) - I reckon I’ve only seen about a fifth of it.

Everyone here is super friendly - I think most Aussies are, at least the ones in Canberra. Everyone is on first name basis in this country and while I can do that in almost all situations, I find it disconcerting within the university environment particularly with individuals who are effectively my seniors and mentors - so it’s still “Prof so-and-so” or “Dr so-and-so” for me.

I’ve met my supervisor and we had a lovely and very productive chat. I need to start “reading around” my subject this week and work towards producing a 10-page “statement of intent” - effectively a research proposal in great detail. The major deadlines will start looming up pretty soon, and that’s quite frightening…!

While most universities have various programmes (skill enhancement programmes, counselling, health & well-being programmes etc.) that support student life, the ANU appear to have a really wide range of these and they are heavily publicised - they really want students to use them! The university is heavily reliant on the internet. A lot of things are done through it - enrolling for/swapping/changing courses, changing your contact details, obtaining course material, short self-taught skill enhancement courses, releasing examination results etc.

It’s all been very positive so far - but then it is my first week. I may change my mind in due course. But yes, I should enjoy it while it lasts… and we all know it wouldn’t (c.f. this blogger and this one too)!

Posted on February 22nd, 2005 by jl
Filed under: VivaVoce | 11 Comments »

I had heard a lot about Canberra before arriving from a variety of sources. 90% of what was said was less than totally positive. The usual comments revolved around how boring and how small a town Canberra is. So I was very pleasantly surprised when I discovered contrary to popular opinion what a lovely town (and yes, I would only call it a town) and how live-able Canberra really is.

Canberra is gorgeous. The streets are wide. There are wonderful pedestrian and bicycle paths everywhere. Lovely parks and greenery adorn every corner you turn - this is a city in a park, not parks in a city. I haven’t really seen the lake yet, but from the peek I had one evening, it’s beautiful. However, like most Australian cities, it is extensive. While I can walk to and around the city centre, I really will need a bicycle to properly explore and traverse both the city and the ANU’s campus.

The main problem I find is that Canberra suffers from the “suburban-social scene/life” syndrome. People’s lives revolves around the suburb in which they live - everyone shops, dines, has coffee, hangs-out in the suburb in which they live. Rarely do they come to the city-centre. In fact, it’s so ridiculous that the city centre is not like most city centres around the world. Here the city centre is just another suburb! It’s called “Civic”!

That said, it’s quite difficult to restrict myself to just Civic, i.e. Canberra city centre. The bigger (and in some ways cheaper) supermarkets and shops for daily life (e.g. Woolworth’s and K-Mart) are only found in the suburbs. The easiest one for me to access is the Westfield Mall in Belconnen - that’s about a 10 minute bus ride away over hill-locks and what I would consider country-roads though I’m sure most Aussies would probably think they’re a normal part of “city life”! In any case, Belconnen is far too far and difficult to cycle to.

Civic is good for outdoor cafes, David Jones (!) and the second-hand and remainder bookshops (though personally, I think the bookshops do leave much to be desired for an academic town - none of the bookshops match Blackwell’s in Oxford, UK). Although there are pretty much similar shops in Civic as in the suburbs, it is really in the suburbs that I’ll find the wider variety of products in the larger supermarkets and household stores. Canberra is weird like that.

Still, it’s a very pleasant town to live in. It’s very manageable and very easy to adapt to. I can see how life can be “boring” and “quiet” after a while, but for the moment, maybe this is just what the doctor ordered…

Posted on February 21st, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life! | 6 Comments »

Moving to a new home in a new country is very tiring. It takes a lot of effort and energy to settle-in. Things like shopping to furnish your new home, learning where “best” to shop (for both price and suitability of products) and arranging for utilities and life “essentials” to be installed and connected can exhaust you. I’ve been doing exactly that all week, plus enrolling myself into the university, familiarising myself with parts (and only just a small part) of the apparently 145 hectare-wide ANU campus, and learning how the university “system” works.

It’s Friday evening as I’m writing this and I am, frankly, exhausted! My brain is suffering from information overload and my body is physically worn-out from all the walking and carrying that I’ve done all week. But at least, I now have a place to call “home”. After 6-months of turbulence in my personal life, this is the real bonus of this last week.

I’m living in a studio flat (or apartment as they call it here) - bedroom, kitchenette and bathroom in one sufficiently spacious unit. It’s in a brand new building, so new that my flat has never been occupied - I am the first tenant. The flat is wonderfully furnished and fitted. Not only is the kitchen almost fully equipped (with crockery, cutlery, cooking-pots, microwave, toaster, kettle, gas stove and rice cooker!) but there’s even a dual-function air-conditioner in the unit. The latter functions as both a cooler and heater and is centrally set to 22C all year long. The other luxury in the unit is the TV set atop the work desk on a swivel platform - perfect for viewing from both the kitchen counter and the bed! It receives five free-to-air terrestrial channels.

The work desk is functional but it’s the added touch of a gas-lever work-chair that I really appreciate. The bathroom is in a small-box of its own but the lay-out is fine though I can’t imagine a big-size white man in there (but if I’m lucky, I might find out soon enough!). There’s a shower (no bathtub) with good strong hot water. The wardrobe is sufficiently spacious for one person’s use and well-placed electrical points are located throughout the unit. The windows of the flat look out to the West so for the past few days I’ve been sitting by the kitchen counter, drinking a hot cup of tea while watching the sun set over Black Mountain that borders one side of the ANU campus.

I cooked my first meal tonight - a stir-fry of potatoes, fresh mushrooms, zucchini, onions, and egg - and the kitchen was very comfortable to work in. I only wished it had an oven (which I personally find more useful than a microwave). I watched telly while eating and then made myself a cup of coffee after. As I watched the sun set over Black Mountain again while listening to sound-bites of classical music, I knew this can really become home, especially once the internet is connected.

Posted on February 19th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: blah blah | 10 Comments »

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

This country feels oddly familiar. In isolated snapshots, this could be England. But of course it’s not. The vegetation is different and the expanse of land immense. The distance between urban cornubations is wide - “city centres” don’t have the same meaning as in the UK. The accent’s all wrong and some words are spelled the American way (”program” for instance). If this was England, it would be grey, wet and cold not sunny and warm with blue skies.

I’m really in Australia and it still doesn’t feel real. I still haven’t quite grasp what I am doing here or how long I will be staying. If I was in England, I know what I would be doing. But I’m not in England. I’m in Australia. And everything is upside down.

Note: This was written on Monday, 14 February 2005.

Posted on February 18th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: blah blah | 5 Comments »