And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies
- Damien Rice, “The Blower’s Daughter”

Another year is over and a new one is just beginning… and it’s the time of year that most people take stock of their lives.

I could look back at my life in the past year and remember all the pain, the heartache, the move away from what used to be home, the start of a new life, the emotional difficulties with adjustment, the financial worries, the challenges of starting over (again), the transition into a new equilibrium, the rediscovery of who I used to be and finally the rediscovery of the joys of life… But I wouldn’t. At some point in each of our lives, I think we realise that there’s no more value in looking back and that the best we can do for ourselves is to look forward, to peer into tomorrow and to cast our eyes on the horizon. While we might not have perfect foresight of the future, at least we know it’s there.

My year of transition is almost over. The year of my new life is about to begin. The planets are promising much. I’m beginning a new intellectual project. I’ve got a brand new wardrobe. A new look. And I’m about to take up a fitness regime. Somewhere around the corner … is my future.

Posted on December 31st, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life! | No Comments »

I am so pooped!

I’ve spent the best part of the last eight days working on my 7000-word (9000 if you count footnotes) SOI paper, writing 2000 words for a grant application, and meeting friends for coffee and meals in the spirit of the Christmas season. While I’ve been getting enough sleep, my mind’s nevertheless been working overtime. It hasn’t stopped thinking, not even when I go to bed. Although I officially stopped work this afternoon at 15H, I can still feel my mind whirring… It will take a couple of days before I become well and truly rested.

On that note, I’m taking a break - I’m off to the glitz and glamour of Sydney again tomorrow. I’m there for 7/8 days this time. I need to unwind properly and then there’s the New Year celebration. I’m sure there will be more work to be done when I return to Canberra and it will be manic again, especially since I will be flying off to Malaysia shortly after that.

I’m winding this year and starting the next one with a manic series of work, pleasure and travel. The planets apparently promise a most exciting, fulfilling, and rewarding year ahead, starting right about now. I’m not so sure if it will be all that positive but I do know that it will be good.

Posted on December 26th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life!, work | 1 Comment »

There were two episodes of Sex and the City where Carrie and the girls jet-off to L.A. for a week away from toil and trouble. Over that time, the girls discovered glamour, beauty, and all the narcissistic pleasure that money can buy under the sunny skies of L.A. After a few days though, they realised that much of L.A. was superficial - everything was skin-deep and driven by aesthetic considerations. All that mattered seemed to be what looks good, rather than what is good. So when everything got far too much to bear, the girls checked-out of their wallpaper*-esque hotel and flew back to New York. Carrie walked in the door of her apartment, lit up a cigarette, and she was home.

Last week, I had my Sex and the City in L.A. moment.

After three days in Sydney - going through a minor alcohol binge session, one romantically OTT pash session under the moon with a classical view of Sydney (city skyline, Opera House and Harbour Bridge), two meets with man-of-my-dreams over meals, being ridiculously stood up by one guy I wasn’t terribly interested in, one run-of-the-mill fuck, and my brain subsconciously worried about my unfinished paper - I was so over the glitz and glamour of Sydney. So at 16H on Sunday, after having rushed through the market on the Rocks, Bondi Junction, Paddington and Oxford Street earlier in the day, I knew it was time to go home. At 18H, I was on the coach on my way back to Canberra…

Posted on December 23rd, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life! | No Comments »

I discovered a white hair on me yesterday. It was on my pubes! It was at least one inch long. I don’t normally complain about length in the pubic area but a white hair is a no, no! All of a sudden, I’ve become Samantha Jones!

Age has become an interesting theme with me lately. It wasn’t until very, very recently that I discovered my sexual confidence. I was never so full of myself to think that I was sexually attractive, highly desirable and that men would lap at my feet at every corner. But I’m slowly coming round to the realisation that really, I’m not all that bad. I may not be a hunk but I’m not unattractive. I’m not the hottest property in town, but I’m nevertheless desirable. I am intelligent and I have an interesting personality. Age and experience have added a veneer of sophistication and mature confidence to my appeal.

The problem at the moment is that I seem to be meeting all the right guys at either the wrong place or the wrong time; or I’m meeting the wrong guys at the right place and the right time. The trick I guess is to keep waiting - to keep waiting in the certain knowledge that one day, the right guy will turn up at the right place at the right time.

Meanwhile, as of Day 03 of my Sydney trip, the men-count is: 01 stand-up, 01 fuck, 01 date (and pash), and 01 lunch (with man of my dreams). So, no. I’m not doing too badly for my age.

Posted on December 16th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: Life!, Life's gay! | 3 Comments »

I want to say something… but I don’t know what…

I’m high on life at the moment. This buzz has been building up for a good two to three weeks now and I’m on the verge of euphoria, if only metaphorically speaking…

If I believed what the astrologers have been saying for Aries, life, in fact the world, would be a completely different place from about now until November 2006. Life will be good, fantastic, amazing, completely out of this world even. There will be sparks, and fireworks. We’ll all be going on trips, falling in love, swimming in money and with any luck, we’ll even make it to the moon and back. The planets are realigning and all that has been bad and difficult in the past will now make way for a brand new technicoloured world.

Coincidentally, I’ve been planning on decamping to Sydney at just the very moment that the planets are realigning. After a lot of hard work for the past few weeks, I need a break. I’m planning on doing not very much and what little I am doing is going to be very wicked..

UPDATE: Bar count on Day 01 in Sydney: one tequila sunrise and half a glass of Vanilla Absolut on ice. My head was throbbing, my stomach felt funny, my head started to spin when my body did… and then I chucked. In the bathroom, at home. I blame it on the Absolut.

Posted on December 14th, 2005 by jl
Filed under: blah blah | No Comments »