I’m exhausted.

I’ve been back in Kuala Lumpur for 10 days now and with a few exceptions, I’ve pretty much met everyone I really want to meet. While I haven’t exactly gone through the list of things I wanted to eat, my cravings died on the second day - I really am not the sort who craves incessantly. The days have been filled with series of meetings and the travelling required to get to them. I’ve been to the hair-dressers, the doctor’s, the dentist’s, and the optician’s. I’ve done the shopping that I wanted and needed to do. And I’ve reacquainted myself with the city.

I’m pooped.

I haven’t had as much sleep as my body needs but I was never under the impression that this would be that sort of holiday. This wasn’t one for resting. If I wanted to rest, I would have stayed home in Canberra where I would have watched television, read novels and knitted all day long…

The two main objectives of this visit are (1) to set the scene for my eventual fieldwork and (2) to “normalise” my relationship with Kuala Lumpur. The former was something I consciously wanted to do and that I managed to achieve beyond my expectations (something to be blogged about elsewhere). The latter was something that just happened, probably by divine intervention.

While I had my anxieties at the beginning of this trip, they have since died down somewhat. That’s of course not to say that Kuala Lumpur feels more like home now - it still isn’t. The reality of *not* being home hit when I was alone, with nothing to do and no where I really wanted to go back to. But at least I’m a far way from the period of August 2004 through to February 2005, when I “lived” in Kuala Lumpur as a zombie. While memories of that period will probably continue to haunt me for a long while yet, at least my relationship with the city is normalising. I remember once telling a friend of mine, as she forced us to abandon our coffees, pay the bill and move from one cafe to another, that she cannot keep avoiding her ex-husband, that she had to confront her fears and learn to live with them. I knew then, as I know now, that that it’s always easier said than done. But I’m glad I did - confront my demons, that is. I’m glad I now know that there is the possibility of life in Kuala Lumpur, if I ever so choose…

Posted on January 26th, 2006 by jl
Filed under: Life!, Remnants of a Previous Life