For a while now I’ve been thinking about the sphincter. You know, that circular-muscle around the anus that control the exit of feces from the body (although I just discovered that we actually have many sphincters all over our body, read this).

Why have I been thinking about the sphincter, you ask? Well… in tandem with visits to the gym, I’ve been taking a lot of protein supplements. As we all know, when muscles are pulled and torn at the gym, these protein supplements help muscles to repair and grow faster. As they repair, muscles also become stronger. Being the curious and inquisitive person that I am, I started to wonder… what, if anything, do the protein supplements do to the anal sphincter muscle? Is the anal sphincter muscle like other muscles - can it be strengthened and grown?

All good research starts with a good question - and this was a damn good one as far as I was concerned. So I turned to the great repository of quirky and endlessly surprising knowledge - the internet - and found this article!

That article probably rates as one of the quirkiest I’ve come across!

Since it was issued by a hospital, a British one no less, through inference, I think it answered my questions. Firstly, apparently yes, anal sphincter muscles can be strengthened. Moreover, you can do exercises to strengthen them! Given our existing knowledge about muscles and protein, I suppose I can extrapolate that my taking protein supplements would have an effect on the growth of the anal sphincter muscles, particularly if I “work them out”!!

Now… you might wonder why the fuck I would be interested in all this? And what importance would this information have?!?

Well… firstly, I am a gay man. And as a gay man, I have an intimate relationship with my anus and in particular with my anal sphincter muscles. It’s one of the tools of my trade so to speak, and I have a vested interest in looking out for it. Secondly, it’s a little known fact that “clamping down” on a penis while having sex apparently enhances sensations (for the fucker, of course) but in order to do that… well… one needs to be able to “clamp down” and hence, a strong sphincter muscle! And the ability to control it, of course!

Do we really want to know all this, you ask!?!?

Well… think of it this way. Whoever’s topping me (do I really need to explain this!?!?) would have a more interesting, if not also more enjoyable experience (given my ability to control the sphincter) and I will never really have to worry about incontinence!

—

An exchange about sphincters with MJD, the man who brings me daily doses of joy, fun, laughter, kaffee-klatsches, shopping trips, gossip, moral support, a shoulder to cry on, a place to rant, and just about everything good in life short of good sex and a great bank account!

me: i wished writing about financial policies was this much fun
MJD: i wish the IMF had Sphincter Adjustment Funds that it dispensed to the third world
me: i think the only adjustment that most people would want to do is to tighten it
MJD: tightening sphincters is the same as tightening monetary policy, both are designed to fight forms of inflation

—

For women readers, apparently:

The vagina benefits from the tightening of pelvic muscles. A tighter vagina means more friction during sex - this can be pleasurable for both partners. It can also make having orgasms easier, help you to control the timing of your orgasm, and make having multiple orgasms easier.

Read all about it here!

I do love the internet!

Posted on January 30th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 18 Comments »

WARNING: This can be a funny post if read with the “right” frame of mind and/or perspective but I do WARN you, it’s very explicit and may be more information than some of you might want to know… that said… Happy Reading!

—

There’s this guy. Let’s call him…err.. Jeremy. He and I have been chatting on MSN for ages - almost two years by my reckoning. - and our chats have always revolved around sex or the intend to have some. Together. I’ve always been curious about how good he is sexually since I’ve seen a pic of his face (and he looked cute) and he made these claims on his Gaydar profile about his techniques and how wonderful he could be. But in all this time of chatting, we never got it on…

I’ve tried to get him to come over to my place several times, the slut that I am, but for one reason or another it never happened - mostly because he pulls out thinking I’d be a dud or our timings were never quite right. Perhaps it’s a combination of him and I both having “needs” today, or my not going into too much of a preliminary discussion, i.e. I just instructed him to come over - but it finally happened today!

So…

He does have a cute face but he’s big, not just stocky but big (though not obese) which is fine, since I’ve done big before - I just have to jump right into it and not think too much! His dick is OK though not as big as he had promised - I’ve definitely done longer, though not necessarily thicker but his thickness is more due to skin than anything so it’s not really hard thick, more like a firm mattress with a thick pillow-top!

Now details. The kissing - it was fine but not sensuous, firm but not tender. He made all the right moves with his lips and tongue but somehow didn’t quite hit the right spot.

Now the fucking… it was jack-rabbit fucking.

Enough said.

It went on for a while but it wasn’t pleasurable because it was so mechanical. But it wasn’t painful either. It was also pretty pointless if you asked me - at least being on the receiving end - because after all, sex is supposed to be enjoyable.

He did rim (I’m not going to explain this if you don’t already understand what it means - google!) - which is more than what most men would do - but again, I felt it was mechanical, nothing special about it. It definitely didn’t get me going when it should have.

For a short while there I did enjoy being stuffed and he did wank me off. But I’ve had better orgasms, to say the least. This was far too perfunctory and I’d much rather have done it on my own! I’m definitely not seeing him again - I only wanted to satisfy my curiousity after such a long time chatting, so I got off on that!

He did say just before leaving - and thank God he wanted to leave immediately because I definitely couldn’t face him for much longer - that he wished he had come over sooner!!!

From start to finish, it lasted no more than 20 minutes, possibly 15 even - it was a fuck and run!

All this merely reinforces my general abstinence from casual sex - it’s usually no fun at all. In fact, it can be all hard work for little gain… but at least I did learn something today: what jack-rabbit fucking felt like! Oh… and don’t believe what they say in the profiles!

Posted on January 28th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 6 Comments »

It just occurred to me how “odd” it is that gay men have to negotiate monogamy when entering into relationships whereas it’s taken for granted in the straight-world…

Posted on January 26th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: aside | 6 Comments »

One week, two tank tops, two pairs of jeans, one pair of shorts and a CD organiser later…. I think I’m finally, finally over him.

—

I worked it out - it takes me approximately one week for every one month I go out with someone to get over him/it.

The thing is… there really is no way to avoid being hurt in a “romantic dalliance” unless you do not become emotionally involved. Once emotions are involved, it will hurt… at some point.

—

It is time to think again about who you truly are and what you really deserve. Rethink that… and others will rethink who you are in their eyes. … You need to be clear. … just work on being ready to move into a phase where there’s more joy, more communication and more magic. As long as you are ready to welcome it, it will make its way to you.

So says the Oracle.

—

One of the best ways to get over being spurned, is to go out, meet guys and find out how desirable you still are! Let them swoon over you and tell you that you have beautiful eyes, a cute butt, a dazzling smile and most importantly that you are so sexy, they want to fuck you right there and then.

I’m off to Sydney on Thursday arvo for an extended weekend… It promises to be a great hot and sunny summer weekend for lots of outdoor activities and very little clothing!

Posted on January 18th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life!, love | No Comments »

One of the hardest things about life is probably making your way with all your hopes and dreams and no certainty in knowing whether any of these will come to be. In fact, there is every probability that they wouldn’t.

—

At the beginning of 2006, I resolved to join the gym. I was determined to be a “gym bunny“, as they call it in the gay world, together with the body that gives you the right to the title. I think I’m pretty much there now… I can hardly recognise myself in the mirror these days. In fact, there are moments when I feel slightly disconcerted seeing myself in the mirror - I don’t think my brain has yet caught up with my physical changes.

The great irony at the moment is: now that I’ve got the “right” bod, one that is more in demand in mainstream gay society, I’m giving celibacy serious consideration…!

—

It’s probably a bit late for resolutions but I’ve finally come up with a list of goals that I want to meet this year:

1. I want to pick up yoga and get into the whole “business” of meditation - I think it will be good for a whole variety of reasons;
2. I want to be more focussed and make greater strides with the PhD;
3. I want to treat myself and my heart better and with greater care but without simultaneously retreating into a brick wall of defence.

 

Sometimes you’re ahead,
sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long
and in the end,
it’s only with yourself.
…
Whatever you do,
don’t congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else’s.
- “The Sunscreen Song”, Baz Luhrman

Posted on January 15th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life! | 4 Comments »