One of the hardest things about life is probably making your way with all your hopes and dreams and no certainty in knowing whether any of these will come to be. In fact, there is every probability that they wouldn’t.

—

At the beginning of 2006, I resolved to join the gym. I was determined to be a “gym bunny“, as they call it in the gay world, together with the body that gives you the right to the title. I think I’m pretty much there now… I can hardly recognise myself in the mirror these days. In fact, there are moments when I feel slightly disconcerted seeing myself in the mirror - I don’t think my brain has yet caught up with my physical changes.

The great irony at the moment is: now that I’ve got the “right” bod, one that is more in demand in mainstream gay society, I’m giving celibacy serious consideration…!

—

It’s probably a bit late for resolutions but I’ve finally come up with a list of goals that I want to meet this year:

1. I want to pick up yoga and get into the whole “business” of meditation - I think it will be good for a whole variety of reasons;
2. I want to be more focussed and make greater strides with the PhD;
3. I want to treat myself and my heart better and with greater care but without simultaneously retreating into a brick wall of defence.

 

Sometimes you’re ahead,
sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long
and in the end,
it’s only with yourself.
…
Whatever you do,
don’t congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else’s.
- “The Sunscreen Song”, Baz Luhrman

Posted on January 15th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life!