about sphincters
For a while now I’ve been thinking about the sphincter. You know, that circular-muscle around the anus that control the exit of feces from the body (although I just discovered that we actually have many sphincters all over our body, read this).
Why have I been thinking about the sphincter, you ask? Well… in tandem with visits to the gym, I’ve been taking a lot of protein supplements. As we all know, when muscles are pulled and torn at the gym, these protein supplements help muscles to repair and grow faster. As they repair, muscles also become stronger. Being the curious and inquisitive person that I am, I started to wonder… what, if anything, do the protein supplements do to the anal sphincter muscle? Is the anal sphincter muscle like other muscles - can it be strengthened and grown?
All good research starts with a good question - and this was a damn good one as far as I was concerned. So I turned to the great repository of quirky and endlessly surprising knowledge - the internet - and found this article!
That article probably rates as one of the quirkiest I’ve come across!
Since it was issued by a hospital, a British one no less, through inference, I think it answered my questions. Firstly, apparently yes, anal sphincter muscles can be strengthened. Moreover, you can do exercises to strengthen them! Given our existing knowledge about muscles and protein, I suppose I can extrapolate that my taking protein supplements would have an effect on the growth of the anal sphincter muscles, particularly if I “work them out”!!
Now… you might wonder why the fuck I would be interested in all this? And what importance would this information have?!?
Well… firstly, I am a gay man. And as a gay man, I have an intimate relationship with my anus and in particular with my anal sphincter muscles. It’s one of the tools of my trade so to speak, and I have a vested interest in looking out for it. Secondly, it’s a little known fact that “clamping down” on a penis while having sex apparently enhances sensations (for the fucker, of course) but in order to do that… well… one needs to be able to “clamp down” and hence, a strong sphincter muscle! And the ability to control it, of course!
Do we really want to know all this, you ask!?!?
Well… think of it this way. Whoever’s topping me (do I really need to explain this!?!?) would have a more interesting, if not also more enjoyable experience (given my ability to control the sphincter) and I will never really have to worry about incontinence!
—
An exchange about sphincters with MJD, the man who brings me daily doses of joy, fun, laughter, kaffee-klatsches, shopping trips, gossip, moral support, a shoulder to cry on, a place to rant, and just about everything good in life short of good sex and a great bank account!
me: i wished writing about financial policies was this much fun
MJD: i wish the IMF had Sphincter Adjustment Funds that it dispensed to the third world
me: i think the only adjustment that most people would want to do is to tighten it
MJD: tightening sphincters is the same as tightening monetary policy, both are designed to fight forms of inflation
—
For women readers, apparently:
The vagina benefits from the tightening of pelvic muscles. A tighter vagina means more friction during sex - this can be pleasurable for both partners. It can also make having orgasms easier, help you to control the timing of your orgasm, and make having multiple orgasms easier.
Read all about it here!
I do love the internet!
Posted on January 30th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay!
Oh my god.
First off, is there a machine at the gym that will actually work out your corn-hole?
Secondly, at what point of looseness does one need to worry about tightening these muscles?
Thirdly, is there any turning back after fisting? Or, I dare to say, double fisting?
You have opened a Pandora’s box of questions here Jikon and I demand that they are answered.
PS: You have my permission to have sex with Mathew and take all his money, it’s not right that you miss out on those two!
Cameron… those are very good questions indeed… I shall attempt to answer them as best I can, with help of course to the ever informative internet.
(1) As far as I am aware, they have yet to design gym machines to help us work our anus out. I do think this is a hole in the market that would most certainly appreciate a filling. However, might I suggest use of the dumb-bells (always start with the lighter weights of course - they’re smaller and easier to handle), or the long bars of the bar-bells (this is probably best for exercising your deep penetrative-ability). Of course, I would suggest that the best practice for those muscles is anal sex itself - regular hard pounding would help get those muscles in shape!
(2) I dare say when they become as loose as a vagina… Otherwise, what’s the point of being gay?!? Oops! did I just say that?!? How un-PC of me. I meant of course, when your boyfriend starts complaining.
(3) Hmm… according to the trusty internet: “bear in mind that in engineering terms, fisting exceeds the design specifications of the anus and rectum. If you’re fisted frequently there will probably be some long term effects. Certainly being fisted can increase your tendency to fart. You’re faeces may increase in girth and you may find you want to shit at irregular intervals. But there should be little long-term effect for those who practise this intense and satisfying form of play as an occasional treat.” In short, it would seem that practised in moderation, there is little side-effect to fisting other than your being regularly smelly and wanting to leave big turds all over the place. But that has never stopped gay men from having satisfying sex. Or having a good time in a gay club, as you so discovered recently!
[This was sourced from http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/fsfist.htm#Problems (note: yet another trusty British source).]
And on your offer… I will bear that in mind when we both next find ourselves drunk on cheap alcohol in a seedy club in Bangkok and return to a shared big king-sized bed. Thank you. You’re ever so kind.
Just for the records, it would appear a *female* left the faeces on the dancefloor.
Interesting reading and as a top, I can add that the “clamp-down” feels really great for me AFTER the orgasm. Feeling that the guy just doesn’t want to let you go is a real post-coital turn-on.
Ah, revirginisation - the other holy grail. Jikon, unless your hole is like a clown’s pocket, I doubt it’s really necessary! I’m sure no top wants to stick their dick into a vise-like death clamp.
PS I know a couple who regularly fist each other. When a friend of my fucked one of them, he said that he could hardly feel ANYTHING.
PPS I read this while eating a bowl of beef curry. Big mistake.
Cameron: why? why? why? why would anyone leave a turd on a the dance floor of a club?!?
Les: you just don’t want to pull out…ever!
Jay: I’m not trying to re-virginise… though I am on the verge of being celibate…! And why were you even having beef curry? what with? rice? noodles? bread?
I am not sure why someone would pooh on the dancefloor. I am thinking they were either off their face, or just had stomach problems. I am more disturbed that no one noticed until the end of the night when they turned on all the lights. And the size… it was like someone snuck a horse in to do the deed. Everytime I close my eyes that’s all I see.
You have me paranoid now about my tightness. I’m doing clenching exercises as I type. I’m now so tight I have to sniff amyl before doing a number 2.
It was one of those awful Iceland frozen meals that I bought for £1. A bag of rice, a bag of beef curry. I’m not proud of confessing to such a paucity of taste and fabulousness. Damn you!
“I’m now so tight I have to sniff amyl before doing a number 2.”
Camerib, make sure you don’t pass out in the toilet from the headrush. That would be SO unglam.
Doctor Mike dons lab coat and says “For reasons of safety, best not to administer your protein supplements directly to your anal muscles”
I do like how you educate your readers. In that spirit, may I ask if, as a gay man, do you have an intimate relationship with other mens’ anuses?
I like Jay’s reference to a clown’s pouch… but I suppose we’re talking about the ones belonging to kangaroos where you are?
All this reminds me of (camp, 70s, British, “entertainer”) Larry Grayson’s imaginary friends “Slack Alice” and “Everard”…
This might help:
Kegel exercises are used to strengthen the muscles that surround the openings of the rectum, vagina, and urethra. Just like doing sit-ups to flatten your abdomen, these exercises only work when the right muscles are used, the “squeeze” is held long enough, and enough repetitions are done.
Your doctor or nurse will ask you to squeeze your sphincter muscles as if you were stopping a bowel movement. When you begin the exercise program, place a hand on your abdomen to make sure you don’t squeeze those muscles. Also do not squeeze your thighs or buttocks.
Squeeze your pelvic muscles for 10 seconds, 10–20 times in a row. Your doctor will tell you how many times a day to perform the exercises and how long you should keep doing them
Cameron: unless your boyfriend is complaining… I honestly don’t see why you should be worried?!?
And why are we talking about Kegel exercises??
Jay: I’m seriously concerned that you shop in Iceland for your meals… and why are you eating frozen meals? Do you or NM not cook?!? What was he eating while you were devouring frozen curry and frozen rice?!?
Mike: err… at risk of exposing myself, I am slowly becoming more and more intimate with the variety of anuses in the world…! There’s so much to learn!
I do cook quite a bit, but I’m not a very good cook, which means I’m not a big fan of the act of cooking. Too much effort for what is often an unsatisfying reward. So I stock up on cheap and fast meals for times when I cannot be bothered to try.
NM and I don’t live together, so he’s not really subject to my shortcomings in the kitchen. In any case, he cooks even less than I do. When he comes over on weekends, we like to order Chinese takeaway :-p
Oh I am not concerned at all, but figured since we were on the subject of tightening anal muscles that Kegel exercises are quite apt.
My next question for you to research - what happens when two tops become involved in an intimate r/s?
Jikon, can you please clarify the extent to which you are educating yourself, by which I mean is there to be ANY limit to the variety of anuses in the world you are becoming increasingly intimate with?
My answer to Cameron’s question - is they find someone to spitroast… while gazing lovingly into each others’ eyes?!
Mike - I’ll assume that question is rhetorical…
And I suppose you’d say that if two bottoms got it together they could just 69 while ploughing each other with a dildo each…?!!??
Jikon, are you seriously suggesting you have not seen those one-piece double-enders?!
Mike: I have seen double-enders but bum-to-bum is just too crude and they’re really designed for lesbians! My way - you not only get a blow-job but also both your holes stuffed all at the same time - imagine the stimulation!