At some point in the past, blog posts were generally thoughts and rants that were quickly spewed out of one’s mind as the ideas and points come to the fore. Some but not much thought were put into them and they weren’t necessarily taken very seriously. I’m sure I operated at such a level at some point in my blogging “career”, and I’m sure I occassionally still do.

However, somewhere along the way, for some bloggers, posts became well crafted writing that were meant to say something more meaningful and significant than would have been the case had they been merely rants. More thought was put into blogging and posts took just a bit longer to compose. I certainly went into this direction.

There’s something I’m dying to blog about at the moment but the time is not quite right. For one thing, I fear jinxing things. For another, I’m still waiting to see how things develop before writing something more “conclusive” about it. Nevertheless, I do still want to put a marker for what’s happening right now in my personal life, and perhaps share these developments with you, albeit indirectly and secretively.

Thus, suffice for now to say that this “story” involves:

• a man in Sydney;
• 4 weeks of acquaintance;
• a wonderful Fair Day weekend;
• a pleasant, convivial and memorable dinner (party) on Saturday;
• a date to remember (18 February); and
• a conversation in the Royal Botanic Gardens looking over Woolloomooloo Bay

Posted on February 20th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life!, blah blah, love | 1 Comment »

Some time in your life, you might meet some guys who for some unknown reason just get to you. They get to you in a positive way. They have some X-factor that somehow seeps under your skin and get to the very core of you. And they really get to you.

Of the many men that I have come across in my short life thus far, two fall into this special category. One was a guy I met about a year and a half ago who for some reason or other I was infatuated with. He had eyes that were deeps dark pools of water. I was terribly attracted to him. He gave great massages. And the sex was fantastic.

We met up several times casually before he went out of my life. We met up once more six months later and had another great time, in bed! And that was that… until a few days ago.

On Monday, I received a message from him saying that he was in town and asking if I would like to meet up. The moment I saw that message, I went weak. I went totally weak from inside out - he gets to me. I of course said yes and we arranged to meet on Tuesday evening.

When we finally met up on Tuesday evening, after a year since we last saw each other, it was clear that we had both changed. I had put on weight in that time - about 8kgs, all of which went into muscles mostly on the upper body. He too had put on weight - I suspect about 15 to 20 kgs. Sadly, it all sat on his stomach and what was once a rather fit and trim body was now bordering on fatness. It wasn’t attractive. In fact, he has started to walk like a fat-person - not attractive at all!

The sex too had changed. He wasn’t as good as I remembered him. However, what surprised me more was his penis - I thought it was bigger than what I saw on Tuesday evening… it wasn’t just a little bit smaller, it was a lot smaller than I remembered it. Perhaps it was my memory because surely penises do not shrink over time?!? Or perhaps, in the interim period, I’ve since up-sized and what was once big is no longer big to me!?!?

But all was not lost - he still gives the best pre-sex massage - it’s one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had. And I re-learned yet another life-lesson: you can never go back. Sometimes, it’s best to hang on to the memories you have in your head and not find out what’s become of them, over time, in real life. Some things were just never meant to be recaptured.

Posted on February 16th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | No Comments »

Help me out here. I’m struggling with a moral dilemma.

Would I be shallow if I decided to stop seeing someone because the sex is bad? I mean, is it morally “wrong” to terminate a relationship because the sexual satisfaction one derives from it is mediocre at best? Is there any moral code by which such action would be perfectly justifiable?!?!

Alright… you might ask, what do I mean by bad sex? What is bad sex to me? What are we talking about here?!?

I’ll enumerate:

(1) his hair regrowth is pretty quick and his stubbles are quite bristly, so pash rash is a problem of sorts;
(2) he has a hot internal-body and he sweats a lot. While some sweat can be nice in the sexual context, a profusion of it somehow turns me off (never the fact that I would have to change the sweat-soaked sheets);
(3) he’s like an animal when he’s all horned up. While passion is a good thing, gruff… or too much gruff is not. It’s all a little too primitive for my liking. I kind of like my sex with white gloves on, if you know what I mean…;
(4) and there was this;
(5) he’s not loud but he certainly likes a personal soundtrack with his sex!

That said, these things on their own don’t really tip the scale, the one thing that does is this:

(6) he smokes. I don’t. Enough said.

So… back to my predicament… is it bad to stop seeing someone just because the sex is bad? Would it be too shallow, even for me, if I did that?!?

Posted on February 9th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 9 Comments »

It amazes me how gay guys can *not* know how to give a decent blow-job - frankly, how is that possible?!?

In the gay world, you can stereotypically be a bottom, a versatile or a top. If you’re a bottom, you had bloody better know how to give a blow-job otherwise there really isn’t much you can offer others in the sexual realm. It’s one of the core tools of your trade, so to speak and if you don’t have it, there really is no point in trading.

If you’re either a versatile or a top, I would assume you’d have received blow-jobs before and if you’re a “normal” gay man, I’d assume you would have received countless blow-jobs from countless number of men in which case, I’d assume you would know how to discern between a good and a bad blow-job. In fact, I would also hope that if you had half a brain, and if you were not completely lost in the ecstasy, you would have been paying attention when you were getting good blow-jobs and noting down, at least at a vague level, what was being done to you and that you should, in theory, be able to replicate that when necessary…

Sadly, I think I over-estimate the capabilities of men… as usual.

I had one of my most pointless blow-jobs last night. It felt like someone took a big empty plastic bag, put it over my dick, forgot to seal the opening and then proceeded to moved it up and down. Yes, guys… it felt as if my dick was floating in a vacuum. Pointless.

I may not give the best blow-jobs on earth - I’ve never entered a global blow-job competition before - but I do know that I give a mean one… and I’m being modest here! So, what was missing last night?!?

Firstly, pressure. Guys, this is not your mother’s fine-bone china. It’s not going to break if you circled your mouth around it and then clamped down. In fact, you need to apply pressure if the recipient is to feel anything. This is done in at least two ways - firstly, through your lips (when you clamp down) and secondly by creating a vacuum in your mouth (as if you were sucking very, very hard on a lollipop or a boiled sweet). Of course, vary the pressure but you have to apply some now and again otherwise it’s pretty pointless.

Secondly, you have a tongue - use it! Use it to lick the penis before you put it into your mouth and use it when the penis is in your mouth. Lick the bloody penis all over and apply pressure now and again with your tongue. Lick the penis as if there was a coat of chocolate/cream/paint whatever on the penis and you wanted to make sure that every single drop of that chocolate/cream/paint comes of the penis. And you have to lick very hard to make sure it comes off.

Thirdly, spit - there was far too much. Guys, a little bit of spit is good to lube it up a bit but there can be far too much. Just like you don’t want far too much lube when you’re fucking someone, you don’t want far too much spit either when giving blow-jobs. Some friction is a good thing here (that’s what the pressure partially does as well) - in fact, that’s what gets the bloody penis off. Otherwise it’s like a penis moving in a vacuum. Pointless.

Posted on February 3rd, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 4 Comments »

Here are excerpts of what has to got to rate as one of the most bizarre, and in some ways sad, online chats I’ve ever had… The variety of behaviour that people can think of to satisfy their sexual, and in this case perhaps even psychological, needs never ceases to amaze me…

FYI: I didn’t initiate the conversation, he did and I went along as I thought it’d be funny… and I think it is. Though again WARNING: some of you might find this unpleasant reading - though I think it’s a RIOT!

—

me: are yo uinto bondage?
slave: I enjoy being a BDSM slave sometimes Sir
me: ic
me: whtat’s BDSM?
slave: Bondage, Sadism and Masochism
slave: = a slave who will endure sexual pain
me: ok
me: what do you like done to you?
slave: first, becsuse I am a slave I must do whatever a master wants me to do - I cannot refuse or else I can be punished.
slave: second, I enjoy being tied, tortured, forced to suck, fuck, be fucked, abused - or just used in any way a master wishes
me: ic
me: and do you have a master?
slave: a slave is just an object, possessed by a master while he is on duty. A slave has no rights. I do not have any masters at the moment Sir.
me: why don’t you have any master at the moment?
slave: Msters discard their slaves after they have used them a few times - and then the slave find another to serve.
me: but ifyou were a good slave, your master would keep you… have you been a bad bad slave?
slave: My last master left Sydney a few months ago.
slave: I am a first class slave Sir - very obedient and up for anything
me: maye you weren’t good enough
slave: maybe Sir. I can only give my best and hope that it pleases a master.
me: you need to try harder
me: do more
slave: perhaps Sir would like to try the slave out?

—

And then I discovered that he has a partner and has even gone through a civil union process with him…

me: what happeend to your partner?
slave: We have been together 12 years Sir, but he does not enjoy kink.
me: but he knows you serve other masters?
slave: yes Sir.

—

slave: so, would you be interested Sir?
me: perhaps… but only if you’re really naughty and really bad
slave: the slave is really obedient Sir….. he will do whetever it takes to give you plasure Sir
me: what about yourself - does the slave want to be pleasured too?
slave: the slave’s pleasure is unimportant - the slave gets pleasure from giving his body to his master

me: what do you like to do with [your penis]?
slave: It does whatever my Master makes me do with it Sir
me: would you pour wax over it slave???
slave: Of course Sir.
slave: It is available for torture Sir
slave: when the slave goes “on duty” with you his body becomes your possession and you can do whetever you like with it Sir

Posted on February 2nd, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Life's gay! | 2 Comments »