I hate how when you enter into a relationship, even a budding one, you invest the other with the power to hurt you, either conciously or unconsciously, actively or passively… you do.

I hate how no matter what you tell yourself you’d do, you would still have expectations of the other and as is frequently the case with expectations of other human beings, they are not always met (for whatever reason). So you end up being disappointed… and maybe even hurt.

I started “seeing” a “special someone” again recently… It’s been about seven weeks now. I told myself that I will take this one slow, that I will not analyse the dynamics of the relationship and that I will have no expectations of it - I told myself I will let nature take its course and just go with the flow…

Well… I was hoping he would spend this weekend with me, he even suggested a couple of days ago that he might, but as luck would have it, he isn’t. I knew that the chances of him doing so was low, in fact, I even told a friend that if I were the betting sort, I would bet against him showing up, but the fact of the matter is… who am I kidding? Despite what I tell myself and what my rational mind might argue or suggest, I do have expectations. I am disappointed… and a little hurt.

This is what happens when you open your heart, even a crack, and let someone in… you give them the power to hurt you even though they don’t know they’re doing it.

—

It is one thing to want something. It is another to not want something. When you strive too hard to prevent an event, you soon end up defensive and apprehensive. Are you making a positive statement now? Or is there a negative edge to your attitude? To what extent are you reacting to a set of silly circumstances? Are you sure that you are not just responding to an unreasonable fear? Where you detect doubt or fear in the back of your mind, make an effort to replace it with faith and trust.
- Cainer for Aries this weekend

Posted on March 10th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: love