It has been 74 days since I left Australia on this fieldtrip and I’m actually glad to be in my office in a Malaysian think-tank that’s kindly agreed to “host” my research visit in Kuala Lumpur. If nothing else, being in the office lends some structure to my last days in the field and it provides me with reliable internet access without having to sit in a cafe where going to the toilet becomes an issue when you’re sitting alone!

This weekend has been particularly bad.

On Sunday, I found myself at a loss for things to do from 2pm onwards. Much as I had wanted to, it was far too early to sleep and yet the day was far too long for me to imagine enough things to fill the hours. I ultimately ended up going back a second time to a consumer computer fair that was taking place in KL - even though it was extremely crowded, I was actually grateful that having to manoeuvre through the crowd meant more time wasted but sadly, even doing that only took up one hour of my endless day. I then found myself back at the KLCC Twin Towers for the umpteenth time this trip where I was forced to shop - literally shop - for fear that I would otherwise drop to the ground and burst out in tears. The cost: one pair of shorts and another pink top (from Philosophy Men where I have been four times in the past two weeks and spent close to MYR850, approximately AUD280) and one pair of gloves for the gym. This was ultimately followed by … oh god, dare I say it… Starbucks!

I’m going to cry.

Nevermind that fieldwork is a terrible experience inflicted upon us poor PhD students, this trip to Kuala Lumpur underscored in so many ways and ever so emphatically that KL, and Malaysia, is well and truly a foreign place to me.

My best friend had asked if I was doing anything in KL that I couldn’t do in Australia. When I first planned this trip, and the length of my stay, the reality of fieldwork, and Malaysia, had not surfaced. I had good intentions about what I would, and could, achieve in KL in terms of research - sadly, those good intentions were snowed under by poor planning and exhaustion from my earlier stay in Seoul.

I also thought that I would use the opportunity of my stay in KL to meet up with friends. Sadly, when I finally arrived in KL three weeks ago, I discovered that there was no one I really wanted to call to have a long meaningless natter. The friends I am closest to these days all reside in other countries. There were perhaps two persons I really wanted to see - sadly, they have become far too involved with their work and their personal lives, that they are not pulling their weight in our friendships for me to feel either that I was welcome or that I cared enough to want to have a meaningless natter with them anymore. The lack of contact from them in the last three weeks merely reinforced the point.

Thus, the answer is no - there isn’t anything much that I am now doing in KL that I couldn’t do in Australia but it wasn’t intentional. Sadly, my flight ticket out of KL was booked before this was apparent to me and the costs involved in changing that ticket is deterring me from leaving earlier though as the days go by, I’m reevaluating that calculation.

But it isn’t just the absence of friends that render Malaysia now a foreign place to me. I have found on this trip that no one seems to understand me when I speak and consequently, on more than a few occasions I don’t seem to get what I ask in shops and restaurants. I am not imagining this as Mike, a friend from London who had been visiting KL the last ten days, was witness to several of these incidents. Ever looking for explanations, I suspect that the service industry in KL is now dominated by either (A) foreigners who don’t speak any of the local languages or (B) locals who speak a smattering of all the local languages but none of them well. Admittedly, I have insisted on using proper English (full sentences, perfect grammar and all) on this trip, but honestly, is there any other language one should be using in this globalised world?!

Having lived in Canberra for three years now and thus, having not lived in Kuala Lumpur for three years now, I no longer know it for what it is but for what it was. This point was made bluntly clear when on Saturday night, Mike and I ventured to Bangsar, an area once thriving with nightlife, home to bars, restaurants and expats that would literally be heaving on weekends. Well… that is no longer the case as both of us discovered when we got there at midnight on Saturday. The KL party scene must have migrated elsewhere - because surely KL-ites do still party on weekends - but where that might be is something that I, as a foreigner, do not know.

Similarly when MJT was around, I struggled to think of restaurants in which to dine. Restaurants that I frequented in the past might no longer be as good or they may have closed down. In fact, what used to be my favourite hotel in the city has been completely revamped and rebranded as I discovered also on Saturday night. It now looks quite different and I dare say tacky.

So yes, KL is a sufficiently foreign place to me now. There are broad aspects of it that are still familiar and have not changed - for instance the poor public transport system and the largely chaotic and irrational nature in which the city is managed - but it is differences in the finer details that touch our daily lives that have been most disconcerting.

Which brings me… on the rare occasssion, I would find an unsecured wireless network at my mum’s place where I am staying on this trip. However, these would never last long as the owners must turn off their wireless hubs when they are done with the internet. This explains my rare, or rather non, appearances online when I am not in the office. Sadly there is nothing else to do at my mum’s. Much as I love her, we have very different approaches and understandings about the management of a home. There is no lounge in which to sit and watch TV. It’s hard enough trying to make a cup of hot drink. Thus my feeling completely lost on Sunday afternoon.

While I think I’ve got enough work-related activity to fill this week, I suspect I will still find myself spending the evenings haunting shopping malls, and consequently shopping if only just to fill the time. What I fear most is the coming weekend. I originally thought I would spend the weekend with friends doing fun things but as it’s turning out, I suspect friends will not materialise. I’m considering overdosing on sleeping pills but really, perhaps I should just cough up the price difference and take an earlier flight out of here.

I am well and truly ready to go home.

  

Posted on December 10th, 2007 by jl
Filed under: Fieldwork, Life!